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By Jack Elliot

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The more you practise the better you get. ’ Over pasties Chamberlain continued, ‘You should stick to the criminal work. You have real gifts. ’ ‘It does. I watch them when you are addressing them and they appear to me to regard you favourably, but let me give you a tip. ’ ‘But I am trying to persuade them. ’ ‘Yes, but look at it from the jury’s point of view. Mostly they are very ordinary people who have never had to assume great responsibility. Suddenly they are called up for jury service and told they have to sit in judgment on people charged with crimes.

She shaped the paper into a cylinder at least seven inches long. I screwed each end. ‘I tender that in evidence,’ I said. ’ Napier asked, clearly expecting him to do so. ‘No. I don’t see that I can,’ he said smiling. I sat down and the rest of the case passed without incident and my client gave evidence on oath. He said that he had a very small penis and that on erection it was under five inches long. Chamberlain cross-examined him but for once I thought he made no impression on what I regarded as my client’s palpable honesty.

King’s counsel could not appear in court without a junior and were obliged to give preference to a brief from the crown if faced with a choice between the crown and that of an ordinary citizen. Today the profession has been white-anted by the ‘reforms’ of the ‘economic rationalists’, a pseudonym for those whose credo is the domination of life and the world by unfettered corporate capitalism and the abolition of all government industry. Legal firms have been allowed to incorporate, thereby avoiding massive taxation, and to develop huge legal companies.

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